Long day

Lordy, today was hard.

It was never going to be easy but …

I phoned the hospital and they said she’d normalised.

Which is good.

However, a visit to her house made us realise that diet is a real problem with this lady.

A receipt showed that on the night she was hospitalised she had been to the supermarket and bought a feast.

She had then gone home and consumed it.

Type 2 diabetes is not something you mess with.

No wonder her pulse was sky high.

I did delicately address this only to get the normal apologies and shame face.

It means nothing as she forgets such conversation quickly.

For a short while she was actually lucid enough to feel sad about her demise.

Usually it’s just denial. She wants to go back to who she really is.

She looked me in the eye and asked “David what can I do?”

It’ s hard.

She lapsed quickly, denying she’d been in for two nights, asking repeatedly for her purse which we have at home as it has £500 in it and looking, looking, looking for her keys.

The question of housing is upon us now. For the moment she is fairly safe where she is.

Strangely, for us things will get better as the dementia gets worse. All of this trying stuff will fade as she dwindles into herself forgetting Dad, forgetting me, forgetting.


Today was also Jo(16)’s registration day at college. She was a little short of the grades she needed but the college were great at easing her into alternatives.

I have an app for booking taxis and this afternoon, as we left college, it failed as my bank decided to run security checks on my recent transactions. This involved a call by me and a tense few moments remembering what certain items were from their dodgy abbreviated statement descriptions.

Picking Mum up was delayed as the consultant was busy, the pharmacy was busy, the nurses were faffing around and not booking Mum out in any great hurry.

Getting home to potato ash was a blessed relief.

Oh, yeah, I’m reading again. Biographies, auto and otherwise. I’m reading Prince Philip, the early years and Rob Brydon, funny fella from Wales and will be starting Alan Bennett soon. Any recommendations?

Hoping for a lull in activity tomorrow.

No doubt life will go on.


2 thoughts on “Long day

  1. Ok. I am so feeling for you right now because you have so much to deal with. Here’s the thing: In my scenario….. when I was dealing with phone calls and my gran’s neighbors saying ‘she needs help’ I felt bad because she was so stubborn and independent. We bypassed the whole ‘carers going into her house’ as she never let anyone in and then she was hospitalized and that was it. Whilst it may be cheaper for the local authority to have your mum remain at home – is it in her best interests? You and Gill have been Saints in all this…. but your mum is still independent by the sounds of it although getting increasingly confused……Should the carers not have seen the evidence of her ‘binge’ and red flagged it with her diabetes? The carers are on the clock and can’t always stay and spend time to really assess and I get that…. but also have 500 quid in a purse is a LOT of money….. I fear for your mum staying at home and that is not a criticism.
    My gran, when I flew over her and visited in December, was disorientated and accusing 95% of her time. She would talk about where she was (never recognizing it as hospital) and say the oxygen was playing music – as well as saying she wanted to die. She did not believe I was her adopted daughter and she had no idea it was Christmas despite the decorations. But she still knew her address and asked when she could go for the bus – she knew the number of the bus etc. She was lucid at times. Your mum is too – a lot – and when she is and asks you what she can do you know she hasn’t lost it totally. But I worry for the strain this is putting on you and your family (your hands are already full there) because whether you see it or not, you are waiting for the next thing or phone call……. I hope I don’t sound harsh but you need to know that the system is doing the best for her even though it might not be what she wants. You have your own family and you can only do your bit. But I really really feel for you. Lecture over.


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