Life is full, when is it not?

This week Ashley (13yo, profound multiple disabilities) is away  at an adventure camp. It’s not a long way away, probably an hour or so, but it’s like he’s abroad or something.

We all miss the little guy SO very much. A large part of this is that his care is a major part of our days (physio, orthoses, doubly incontinent, developmental delay) and is a bit like the day job.

Wiser heads will no doubt say, “hey! plan ahead. Use the time.” but the boy, with all his care and surrounding commitments, is only a small part of my joyful life.

Mum’s dementia is well and truly fully blown now. After breaking her hip she’s settled back into her care home and has actually fully recovered – not being hindered by more than 5 minutes memory and large doses of pain meds.

Reprobate Niece (with mental health issues) has settled with a fella with a long history of battering his partners in front of their children and has chosen, in her wisdom, to have a child by him. Social Services removed the new born after 3 days and the couple are forlornly battling the system to get more than an hour a day supervised contact. The offer on the table is for him to leave and maybe she’ll get increased contact.

Gill, my wife, (also with MH issues) is doing her best to support them in the absence of the girl’s mother getting off her arse. After way too long she is finally ralising her niece has big problems with reality and is manipulative.

Oldest daughter (20) is in the process of buying a house despite her partner’s dithering (he is the anchor, she is the sails) which is a 5 minute walk from us (yay).

Next oldest daughter (18) is holding down her apprenticeshop job in a nursery and is looking forward to a short holiday soon.

Youngest daughter (11) is finishing her last year of primary (elementary) school and is doing well.

Myself, hey I ‘m ok. Too much on my mind and spinning too many plates. Healthwise, the arthritis is kicking in, especially in my back and hands but it comes and goes and is managed with brufen. Thankful for the respite that work provides and they seem to enjoy me being there – well maybe “enjoy” is too strong a word judging by the terror the management team show when I walk in. I’m a joy.

Maybe planning ahead would be a good idea.

It’s wrong to never consider the future as it has a nasty habit of suddenly becoming the present. A holiday? Something academic maybe? We’ll see.


2 thoughts on “Life is full, when is it not?

  1. You may well miss your son, but enjoy your break, Dave. While Ashley’s care may be part of your daily routine, I think we all need to “mix it up” sometimes and do something out of the usual. Go out for a dinner and a movie in town, or check out a local festival or event. I’ll bet Gill would enjoy the night out as well.

    It took me a while to get used to being an empty nester, after all three kids took off on their own. I’ve learned to relax and let the days come as they may, but after years of having the kids dictate my schedule (my life, really), it felt oddly quiet and even lonely. In some ways, it’s like growing into another way of living, the way I went from being a little girl to a teenager to a young adult. This last stage is a lot more pleasant. I hope it is for you as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Were actually looking forward to the Empty Nest Days with oldest daughter buying a house and next in line finally holding down a job. Ashley is our life though and we feel like spare parts at the moment. I suppose it’s the level of nonsense that we’ve got used to that makes this week feel like a quiet one. Thank you for your kind words

    Liked by 1 person

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