Tag: dementia

Long day

Lordy, today was hard.

It was never going to be easy but …

I phoned the hospital and they said she’d normalised.

Which is good.

However, a visit to her house made us realise that diet is a real problem with this lady.

A receipt showed that on the night she was hospitalised she had been to the supermarket and bought a feast.

She had then gone home and consumed it.

Type 2 diabetes is not something you mess with.

No wonder her pulse was sky high.

I did delicately address this only to get the normal apologies and shame face.

It means nothing as she forgets such conversation quickly.

For a short while she was actually lucid enough to feel sad about her demise.

Usually it’s just denial. She wants to go back to who she really is.

She looked me in the eye and asked “David what can I do?”

It’ s hard.

She lapsed quickly, denying she’d been in for two nights, asking repeatedly for her purse which we have at home as it has £500 in it and looking, looking, looking for her keys.

The question of housing is upon us now. For the moment she is fairly safe where she is.

Strangely, for us things will get better as the dementia gets worse. All of this trying stuff will fade as she dwindles into herself forgetting Dad, forgetting me, forgetting.

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Today was also Jo(16)’s registration day at college. She was a little short of the grades she needed but the college were great at easing her into alternatives.

I have an app for booking taxis and this afternoon, as we left college, it failed as my bank decided to run security checks on my recent transactions. This involved a call by me and a tense few moments remembering what certain items were from their dodgy abbreviated statement descriptions.

Picking Mum up was delayed as the consultant was busy, the pharmacy was busy, the nurses were faffing around and not booking Mum out in any great hurry.

Getting home to potato ash was a blessed relief.

Oh, yeah, I’m reading again. Biographies, auto and otherwise. I’m reading Prince Philip, the early years and Rob Brydon, funny fella from Wales and will be starting Alan Bennett soon. Any recommendations?

Hoping for a lull in activity tomorrow.

No doubt life will go on.

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Logistics Spaghetti

Large families come with a non-edible spaghetti-like organisation.

Last year we maintained 4 school diaries, Ashley’s medical appointments, Cerys’ medical appointments, Mum’s normal medical and dementia appointments, Mum’s home organisation and care team and Gill’s anxiety appointments.

The older girl’s are both at college (16+ and 18+) this year so more of their organisation is up to them. We still seem to be booking dentals and opticians though.

Fortunately for us, family is an organic process and will, with time, become less tangled.

I use a google calendar, there’s a whiteboard in the kitchen, letters on the fridge and as an indispensable last resort, Gill’s fantastic memory.

The girls contribute to the pen board – “if it ain’t on, we don’t know” is our maxim.

Add to this the normal day-to-day which includes repair and maintenance men for Ashley’s equipment and for the household machines, constant Amazon deliveries, school trip and uniform payments (all electronic now), food deliveries (I’m not going shopping!) and Lord knows what else.

As a list it’s long and scary but in reality it works.

Just.

Day 2

I think it’s important to keep in mind that life moves on.

We kid ourselves that it doesn’t. But look up and you’ll see lots of changes.

My little girl is going to university in October.

My timid daughter sang a solo yesterday. (so proud)

Part of the mire I found myself in was my fault.

The perspective I had was weighing me down.

Sometimes things change very slowly but they are always changing.

Getting stuck in the past is very destructive.

Unfortunately we cope by identifying with the past.

Never really been a carpe diem kind’a guy. Impulsiveness gets on my nerves as it underplays the importance of responsibility.

I’m more “stop and smell the roses“. Dig in and live life with grit and determination but don’t let it weigh you down. Appreciate the blessings you have, even if it’s Mum’s Dementia knocking off for a day or a kid who finally, finally tidies her room.

Laterz